Cabbie & Nun
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’ She answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a...
How To Make LOVE CAKE.
HOW To MAKE LOVE CAKE. Ingredients: 4 Laughing eyes 4 Well-shaped legs 4 Loving arms 2 Firm milk containers 2 Nuts 1 Fur-lined mixing bowl 1 Firm banana Directions: 1. Look into laughing eyes. 2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms. 3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently. 4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out...
PICTURE GAME send me the 4th picture in your phone no matter what. NO CHEATING! Then forward this and see how many weird pics u get back
I told this customer click save and very important to save it to ur desktop. he said even though its a laptop? omfg.
I heard u got robbed at gunpoint with two options: suck dick or give up ur phone. I see u still got ur phone cock sucker lol
Mother & Daughter
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 50 yr. old. Then I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a bit (well more than a bit) we had a snuggle, and then she asked me if I ever had a “Sportsman Double?” “What’s that?” I asked. “It’s a mother & daughter threesome”...
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following this simple advice heard on the Dr Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed… The way to find inner peace is to finish all the things you have started but didnt finish. So I looked around my house and before leaving today, I finished a bottle of...
The Word Shit
“Shit” may just be the most functional word in the English language! You can get shit faced, be shit out of luck, or even have shit for brains. With a little effort you can get your shit together or find a place for your shit or be asked to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit and tell others to eat shit. There are lucky...
Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. “This house is yours for eternity, Tom,” said God. “This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here.” Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed...
Snow is like a cock, its measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you’d like it. Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don’t slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you! BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER!
Sex is like McDonald’s, im lovin it. Pussy is like Subway, eat fresh. Dick is like Gatorade, is it in you. And this joke is like an STD so spread it.