Phone Text Funnies

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June 2011

4 posts

Jun 15, 20112 notes
Why is it so easy to reject a good person?

Why is it so easy to reject a good person? (Yet we stay with someone who takes us through hell?) Why is it so easy for us to leave home? (But so hard for us to come up out of a hole?) Why do we sleep in church?(But stay awake through a 3 hour movie?)Why is it so hard to talk about God?(But so easy to talk about premarital sex?)Why are we so bored when we look at a Christian book?(But find it easy to read Twilight?) Why is it so easy to ignore a Godly forward? (Yet we forward the demeaning ones?) Why are churches getting smaller? (But bars and clubs are expanding?) Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity? (But very difficult to worship God?) Think about it, are you going to forward this? Or are you going to ignore it because you think you will get laughed at or not cool? Forward this to all your friends. 90% of you won’t forward this. The Lord said: If you deny me in front of
your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father. If you are not ashamed send to 10 people.

yes this was a photo msg

Jun 15, 20111 note
followers

Thanks to the 8 that still follow me sorry i have not been getting as much funny rude jokes. thanks for staying. i see about 5 that bailed already. if u have not done so please pass on my stuff maybe others will follow.. just sayin. Thx

Jun 11, 2011
Ted buys a Harley.

Ted buys a Harley. The seller tells him, “whenever it’s gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome so it won’t rust.” And he hands Ted a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend takes him to meet her parents. So they take the bike. But just before they go in, She says: “I have to tell you When we eat, we don’t talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.” “Okay”, he says. They sit down and no one says a word.


As dinner goes on, Ted decides to test the situation. So he reaches over and grabs her boob. Nobody says a word. So he stands up, rips her clothes off, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. But no one says a word. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the table and nails her, then sits down But still, Total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Ted remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket…

Suddenly the father shouts: “I’ll DO the FUCKIN’ dishes!

Jun 11, 20111 note
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