Lol
Blonde men
A sheriff in a town in Exas sees a blonde cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his Stetson, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, “Why are you walking around like this?” “Well its like this sheriff. I met a pretty little redhead and she asks me to go home with her…so I did. She pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt…so I did. She pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants…so I did. Then she gets ont the bed and looks at me sexy and says, ‘now go to town cowboy’ And here I am.” Blonde men do exist! Have a great day!:-)
2 old ladies
Two old ladies, Sunny and Tina, were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. Tina pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarrette, and continued to smoke. Sunny “What’s that?” Tina “A condom.” The next day, Sunny hobbled into the local chemist and announced to the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a pack of condoms. The guy looked at her strangly (she was, after all in her eighties), but politely asked what brand she preffered. “Doesn’t matter,” she replied. “As long as it fits on a Camel.” The pharmacist fainted. Have a great day!:-)
For those who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Apparently Speaking English is what kills you. Have a great day!:-)
An old Italian gentleman
An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was difficult work, as the ground was hard. His son Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad because I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here, you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love. Papa. A few days later, he received a letter from his son: Dear papa, don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried. At 4am the next morning, the FBI and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized and left. That same day he received another letter frrom his son: Dear papa, go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie. Have a great day!:-)
